Sunday Meme: Queer ?'s for the Queasy& Quaint

You are cordially invited to borrow this meme of queer questions for the queasy and quaint.
I stold it from blackbird who lifted it from stuff and junk.

GRUB-OLOGY
• What is your salad dressing of choice?
I love French vinaigrette. Preferable eaten in a Paris restaurant. The ones I make are pretty good...but never taste like the ones made in Paris.

• What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
Chik Fil A - it is nearby.

• What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
A restaurant called Bloom that is nearby.

• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
15 - 20%.

• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Mexican.

• Name three foods you detest above all others.
Organ meats, Spam, rutabegas.

• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
Garlic chicken.

• What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Kitchen Sink.

• What do you like to put on your toast?
Icy chips of sweet butter and raspberry jam.

• What is your favorite type of gum?
Don't chew it, but used to love bubble gum.

BI-OLOGY
• What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
The right side of my face

• Are you right handed or left handed?
Righty

• Do you like your smile?
Yes.

• Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Tonsils, Fibroids, thyroid.
And sadly, 5 dead embryos or fetuses. Horrible.

• Would you like to?
Please - No more souvenirs for surgeons from my body! Enough!

• Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Smell - I am darn near neanderthal in this sense.

• When was the last time you had a cavity?
Can't remember.

• What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
Our 45-pound youngest, regularly.

• Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Yes: At 14, in a car roll-over, and then for 8 surgeries with anesthesia

MISC-OLOGY
• If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No.

• If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Depends on circumstances.

• How do you express your artistic side?
I create stuff w/textiles and yarn (sewing and knitting sounds boring!)
I paint and draw with my sons
I cook and plate beautiful arrangements
I write

• What color do you think you look best in?
Lime green or periwinkle

• How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
I hope to never find out.

• Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
Yes.

• If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
No. I like my 70 first cousins, but not THAT much.

• How often do you go to church?
Never.

• Have you ever saved someone’s life?
Yes. My sister's. I pulled her out of violent surf by her hair and left arm in Creta, Greece. I don't know where I found the strength, but I THREW her up on shore. She was 15.

• Has someone ever saved yours?
Yes.

DARE-OLOGY
For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.

• Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
I'd do it for less!

• Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Yes, but no tongues.

• Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
Depends. Possibly if there were another 0 added to the number. Nah - probably not. I'd be laughing too hard.

• Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
No.

• Would you never blog again for $50,000?
No.

• Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
I've done it for much less.

• Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
No.

• Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Yes. Pick any rapist or child sex abuser. But I'd need therapy afterwards.

• Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
Yes. And donate the hair off my head to Locks of Love.

• Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
Yes, easily. I'd give it up for $1,000.

Oh yeah, saving LOTS of time and $$$ here!

HA!

"I'll do Oldest's party and save us a TON of money!"
"How difficult can it be?"

How could I have been this ignorant?
I have spent PLENTY on this party.
I have done research for age-appropriate games.
For wily, clever 5, 6 and 7 yos.
Some of whom are autistic.
This wasn't easy. Why did I think it would be? WHAT PLANET HAVE I BEEN LIVING ON?

I said Drop Off so I would not have to entertain parents.
I think only 2 parents are dropping off!

And...
You know
I.
Hate.
Potluck.

EVERYONE is hinting that they will bring 'something'. I have repeatedly stated "That something better just be your child and possibly a gift."

If this turns into a 7 hour potluck I am going to be pissed.

It's happened before.

More More Meme - 62 Things

1. How old do you wish you were? 35. I was in perfect shape, physically and emotionally.
2. Where were you when 9/11 happened?I was home, with Oldest, who was 14 months old, our Nanny and her husband, who was our housekeeper. She screamed for her husband when I clicked through the channels looking for PBS for Oldest, and we all three sat down and hugged each other and the baby and cried.
3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? N/A
4. Do you consider yourself kind? Yes. But I rarely give 2nd chances. And I am a Really Mean person when and if I need to be.
5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? HAD TO?! I would hope to never have to join such a Club.
6. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Spanish.
7. Do you know your neighbors? Most of them. We have been really lucky in this hood.
8. What do you consider a vacation? Travel AWAY from home, with cooks, cleaning staff and gardeners lined up. Cruises work well.
9. Do you follow your horoscope? No.
10. Would you move for the person you loved? Depends where. If it's an undesirable place, we would maintain 2 households. Our little one needs special ed - everything would hinge on what was available elsewhere.
11. Are you touchy feely? Depends.
12. Do you believe that opposites attract? Yes. My husband and I are living proof.
13. Dream job? I'm doing it. Staying home with our sons and paying myself well.
14. Favorite channels? N/A
15. Favorite place to go on a weekend? The mountains.
16. Showers or Bath? Long, steamy bubble baths. In the winter. Otherwise, Long, steamy showers. With top-drawer soaps.
17. Do you paint your nails? Nail tech does. French Mani.
18. Do you trust people easily? Not so much.
19. What are your phobias? Heights and me are not a good match.
20. Do you want kids? Just Two and I'm Through. And I love them to pieces.
21. Do you keep a handwritten journal? No.
22. Where would you rather be right now? Getting a massage.
23. What makes you feel warm and safe? Cold, Hard Cash.
24. Heavy or light sleep? Heavy.
25. Are you paranoid? No.
26. Are you impatient? Yes.
27. Who can you relate to? Other mothers, kids.
28. How do you feel about interracial couples? No problemo. We are a bi-racial family.
29. Have you been burned by love? Usually the Burner, not the Burnee.
30. Whats your life motto? "Slow Down! There is no prize for finishing first."
31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile? Whatever it came with 5 years ago.
32. What were you doing at midnight last night? Snoozing away.
33. Who was your last text message from? Don't know nothin' about textin' no messages.
34. Who's bed did you sleep in last night? Ours, with Oldest, sans dh. (who was working)
35. What color shirt are you wearing? White Polo.
36. Most recent movie you watched? Can't remember! MI-5 series on tv (NetFlix)
37. Name five things you have on you at all times? Scars, freckles, hair, aches & guilt
38. What color are your bed sheets? This week they are Raymond Waites taupy floral.
39. How much cash do you have on you right now? $2.00? I never carry cash.
40. What is your favorite part of a chicken? Thighs.
41. What's your favorite town/city? US - Chicago, San Francisco or New York. Europe - Paris, Siena, London - depends on the time of year.
42. I cant wait till... We go to Hawaii for my sister's wedding!
43. Who got you to join MySpace? Isn't that TeenyBopper Heaven?
44. What did you have for dinner last night? Chicken Curry.
45. How tall are you barefoot? 5'5"
46. Have you ever smoked crack? Yes. Over 25 years ago. I inhaled, coughed, coughed, hacked, gagged and then puked. Then had diahrrea. Lovely!
47. Do you own a gun? Yes.
48. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water following by coffee w/cream.
49. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? My wit and sense of humor.
50. Do you have A.D.D.? Yes.
51. What time did you wake up today? 6:30 or earlier.
52. Current worry? My outta sight triglyceride levels.
53. Current hate? Parkinson's - it is killing my beautiful father in law.
54. Favorite place to be? Home with my boys.
55. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere. Although the Middle East and parts of Africa might be a bit dicey right now.
56. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? Hopefully, right here.
57. Last thing you ate? Chicken Curry. Yes, 2 nights in a row.
58. What songs do you sing in the shower? I enjoy Peace and Quiet in the shower.
59. Last person that made you laugh? Oldest!
60. Worst injury you've ever had? One that hurt the most in the getting of it was dislocating my shoulder when I crashed a motorcycle I was learning how to drive. The one that hurt the most healing was a concussion I got rolling a car in a ditch when I was 14 and driving a bunch of drunk 21+'s yo's back from a liquor store. I am not kidding. They thought I was older. Yep - they were That Drunk.
61. Does someone have a crush on you? Both my sons want to marry me.
62. What is your favorite candy? I'm easy - make it Dark Chocolate and I'm Yours.

Planning a 6-year old's Party.

Well, I'm NOT actually planning Oldest's party right this minute. NO! I'm reading your blog and doing other avoidance behaviors. What's next? Washing the floors? Dyeing my hair? (No. Did it already. Never mind) Sorting through a closet? NO! I AM working on this party plan! Right Now! This very Minute! As in HEY! We have a plan, Cosmo!

Note: "Prizes" are a dip into the candy bowl

Theme: Sponge Bob

Arrival Activity:
Kiddy Bocce:

Each child gets 2 ball-pit balls with their names written in Sharpie. Adult lines up chilluns and then Adult tosses a bigger ball (the 'pallino' or "P" as it's usually called) a ways out. The children then sorta take turns throwing their ball-pit balls trying to get as close to the "P" as they can. Much measuring (BDay Boy will weild the measuring tape). Prizes for closest, furthest, worst throw, best attention, etc.

Everyone's Here! Activity:
Water Blasters, Bubbles, Water Balloons, Pistols, Pools, Slip N Slides. Prizes for tricks on the Slip N Slide. I think. Maaaaaaybe Not - don't want to encourage ridiculous behavior. Don't want to send them home bruised and bleeding...

Gone Fishin'! Activity:

The boys and babysitter will make an 'ocean' today -- Sheet painted with water, fish, seashells, Sponge Bob characters. Said sheet will then be hung across a clothesline placed Very Very High at the party. We will have a fishing pole rigged up from a broom handle, string and clothespin. The children will 'fish' using gummy worms clothespinned to the string, flung over the sheet. Adult will then replace worm with a fish or pool diving toy, and give the fisherman a bit of a fight for the reel back in, depending on the size of the fisherman. We will call out "Small Fry" so the Adult doesn't jerk a little one off his pins, forever traumatizing them for Party Games.

Rocket Dogs Rockets Activity:

We have two Rocket Dog rockets where you use your foot to Blast Off the rocket. We will line the children up in 2 lines and have 2 compete for highest rocket. Prizes for who is highest, best form, best attention, etc.

Sponge Bob Puzzle Race:

The children will draw numbers and then form teams of 2 or 3 to race to put a Sponge Bob puzzle together. We have a few 60-piece puzzles. This is the wind-down indoor activity waiting for pizzas to arrive.

PIZZA! Yes, we have Sponge Bob plates! Don't forget to Use Them!

Pin Sponge Bob on Shark Activity:

Prizes awarded for closest to jaws, furthest from jaws, highest, lowest, most spins; everyone gets Candy.

Decorate Your Own Bucket Activity:

We'll have permanent markers (GASP!) and doo-dads in an ocean theme to stick on small buckets. The kids will need the buckets for their next activity:

Treasure Hunt Activity:

Adult will read clues to where piles of booty reside. Booty includes yo-yo's (full size, not those ridiculous little things), bags of Jelly Beans, Hot Wheels Cars, Gold Fish boxes, Goofy tape dispensers, and other goodies I am ON A MISSION to discover today. Maybe 6 different things.

CAKE Activity:
Self-explanatory. Costco cake. Picked up ahead of time, I hope.

Sponge Bob Pinata Activity:

Self explanatory. Please say prayers that no adult gets delivered a death-to-the gonads blow.

Final Waiting-For-Parental Pick-up Activity:

Sponge Bob Movie in the Theatre Room. Supervised by Attila the Husband.

And feel free: Chirp in here with Any Ideas.
Really.

5 Things Meme:

Knicked from Blackbird, who stole it from elsewhere:

5 Things In My Closet:

A double laundry hamper, half empty
Four sacks of goodies from hither and yon, full of treasure hunt items for Oldest's upcoming birthday party
An ironing board and iron
My First Holy Communion Dress and Veil (we were living in Okinawa for that momentous event, and my mother had to send to New York City for one that wouldn't itch me - every seam is French seamed)
A big clear plastic box of medical remedies, all a-jumble and up Very High

5 Things In My Car:

Three tubes of Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer in different colors
Dental Floss
Two straw sippy cups
Rubberneckers - an "I spy with my Little Eye" type of deck of cards
A Transponder to use on tollways and HOV lanes

5 Things in My Refrigerator:

Kafir Lime Leaves, big sprigs of Rosemary, fresh sage and basil
Vegetables we may or may not eat
Rockfish fillets waiting to be prepared tonight (eta: They were okay, nothing great)
Pink Lady apples
Lotsa Pickles

5 Things in My Purse:

Credit cards
2 Stamps
Receipt for Target to return any unused goodies from Oldest's party
Grocery store card
Medical ID card

We have a Yellow Belt in Residence!

Oldest has been taking TaeKwonDo since March. It's probably been the best thing imaginable for him - he is painfully shy, very quiet, a sweet boy. Sweet boys are great around the house, but don't fare so well in their peer group. Since he's a July baby (he will be SIX soon!), we felt well within our rights to have him wait to go to Kindergarten as a young six v. a Very Young Five. Then I found our TaeKwonDo place, and it has been heaven-sent for him.

Oldest worked himself into a bit of a lather worrying about the test ahead of time; I could cheerfully deliver a swift uppercut to his father for talking ad nauseum a few days ago about it being fine and normal if Oldest was nervous and upset about the test! And also, it would be perfectly fine if he didn't pass the test! IDIOT! Gee, thanks for putting that clever idea in the kid's head! Oldest immediately got eyes the size of luncheon plates and commenced fretting and worrying. He woke up this morning without a care in the world - only concern was what to choose for breakfast. Then, here comes Daddy, trotting downstairs after breakfast has been prepared, eaten and cleaned up, bidding cheerful good mornings and then loudly declaring "Hey! It's TaeKwonDo Testing Day!" Oldest immediately knitted his eyebrows together and started worrying. Lovely. It was 9 a.m. He had a full five hours to dwell on it. We practiced his creed, counting, what belt meant what, some other things I thought might crop up.

We got there a half hour early so Oldest could gallop off some steam. No other small fry arrived for 15 minutes, so it was Oldest with 20 BIG kids - like high school and college aged. He tried to make himself invisible. Master Kim worked with him a bit and that loosened him up. Then four other Little Dragons showed up (4-6) and they started tearing around like the devil was on their heels. Everyone Oh'd and Ah'd seeing these darling little guys zipping around in the uniforms. Rosy apple-red cheeks and gleaming pearly whites, giggles and shrieks. So Cute. And one of them was my Very Own. One of the youngest two there.

There were many black belts there. Four were judges, and were eventually seated at a long, draped table. Two Korean men, one anglo man and one anglo woman. Oldest's group was called first - 3 college students testing for yellow, and the two smallest students. They tested the group of 3 oldest first, and I was praying Oldest was watching them do their routines. It took longer and they did more than I dreamed they would! My heart started pounding and I started getting really nervous - YIKES! Oldest has severe anxiety during tests - and he didn't know the entire routine at practice. He is the only white belt during his practice, and there are yellow and purple belt routines to go over. Anyway, Oldest and the other little one were called up, and the other kid took off like a rocket with his routine - leaving Oldest looking lost and forlorn. They have more than a few near misses and start giggling. The crowd giggles with them. The other boy almost fell over backward and did a Speedy Gonzales backshuffle and Parker stopped to watch. They were both giggling. The crowd was laughing. The Lead Judge called a stop to the routines, and had the other child go first while Oldest was seated and waiting. I could see Oldest getting pretty flushed - the backs of his ears were magenta. I started feeling sick to my stomach! Great! I have turned into my worst fear - the mother who collapses and pisses herself during her child's presentations! Master Kim saw that Parker was losing it, so he offered some words of immediate encouragement, which I think backfired. Parker then lost all confidence and his routine flew out the window. He ended up doing parts of it alone, parts of it shadowing Master Kim. I am now dying for him - I just know this is going to cork his TKD career, which means so much to him. But then he has a burst of confidence, I see his dimples appear and then a big grin - he remembers what to do! He finishes nicely. His form is pretty darn good. His gives a big bow and his little feet practically twiddle in midair with joy! He Is DONE. He Did It. I suddenly hear the crowd again. They are ohing and ahing his performance. A dad leans over to me and says "That is the cutest kid I have ever seen." I realize I have tears in my eyes. They spill over. I leaned back into my chair and started breathing again. Then I sat straight up again - all 5 of them are now up by the judges, and they are holding up boards for the students to break! Their are two groups, 3 older students and the 2 young ones. The other boy went first, and took 2 tries to break his board. The crowd applauded. Then it is Oldest's turn. I started to sweat bullets - he hasn't done much of this, and never very successfully with the yellow practice boards. Oldest stared intently at his board, steps-behind-steps and WHACK! The board snapped in two. Oldest stared at it in amazement. The crowd breaks into tremendous appplause. The judges give him alot of praise. The grin on Oldest is dazzling; I swear his molars made an appearance.

They then line them up, and critique every performance. Oldest seems to have lost the ability to speak. They cannot find a report card for his last term, and he cannot seem to answer the question "What grade are you in?" The judge asks "Parents, what grade is he going into?" I warble "Kindergarten, Ma'am" and find my voice is two octaves higher than normal. I curse myself for not bringing in his 20-page Montessori report, then think of the trouble I had deciphering it, and reckon I did the correct thing by leaving it home. Later I find that they discuss every single student's report card or GPA, the significance of good attendance and excellent grades, the importance of balance in life, with emphasis on schooling. They ask Oldest "Who are your heros?" and he is silent. They ask an older student and he quips "My mom and dad, sir!" and they ask Oldest again. He say "My Mom and Dad?" and I felt him cringe. The judge says "YES!" and then asked "Why?" Silence again. The Judge reminded Oldest of all we do for him, and asks the other young student for his answers. Both little boys were told that they should love their fathers and mothers very much. And they were instructed to run and find us right then, and tell us how much they loved us! I was almost bawling at this point! The crowd went "AWWWW!" as the other boy and Oldest sped over and gave huge hugs and kisses.

I was mpressed that they gave many of the students difficult questions to answer; not only about the Korean flag, nation, meaning of different commands and creed, but "What would you do if another kid at school was taunting you, even pushing you, trying to get you to fight?" I was very impressed when the waiting-to-test students were brought up on a short leash when they burst out laughing at an older student's somersaulting fall (It was funny) and the lead Judge bellowed "Next one who laughs get 100 pushups! Next time laugh get sent outside. For rest of the day!" Not Another Laugh was Heard, but there was some choking. The higher belts (blue, red, brown) sparred at the end. I was open-mouth shocked at the amount of THONKS and THUDS (they were helmeted, padded on chest, legs and feet) and full contact they had.

I thought I was the Big Emotional Weirdo until I witnessed every single parent reacting as I did. One father hid bent over in his chair while his high school daughter did her routine. Every time he watched her, he giggled! The dad next to me audibly grunted and rose an inch or two off his seat during his son's routine, and stopped breathing altogether when his son was unable to break the board with more than 15 tries. His head was buried in his hands and he missed the shot of his son breaking the board. Everyone wildly applauded when that board snapped. I saw parents' lips moving in silent supplication, and saw more than a few tears - it wasn't Just Me.

Then there was the Belt Presentation. All the judges hugged or patted Oldest and his little chest was puffed out like a Capon. Other students hugged Oldest, too. The girls really hugged and patted him. I found his snapped board (they keep them - I didn't know that) and shoes while he was wrapping up. Then suddenly he was in my arms, and my heart burst.

And what was dh doing the entire time? Videoing and wrangling Youngest. Who was bored shitless and starting to misbehave. They ended up leaving and running a few errands. Youngest came back in and shrilly whispered "MOMMY! I HAVE A SPRITE!" which made me levitate about 3" off my chair. It was Dead Silent at that point. Then Master Kim's 18 month old son Daniel let out a shriek as he spotted Youngest (they are buddies - Youngest brings a portable DVD player and Daniel watches the train movies, too) so they were hustled back outside poste haste. It was actually a good tension breaker.

I am beat. We also went out to dinner and celebrated Oldest's victory. And Oldest got to call all the relatives and crow a bit. He was still sporting the Capon Look as he went to bed. He told me he loved me and said "This has been the Best Day Ever, Mommy!" I told him "For me too, my love." And I think it truly was.

Small-town parade - Most Excellent!

We beat a hot path out of here with breakfast bars to line up to watch our city's parade. It was great! Sports clubs, boy and girls clubs, politicians, companies, police/firemen and neighborhoods had floats or walked in the parade. The boys were ecstatic - candy and goody bags were tossed their way, and there was even a Shrek float, complete with steam hissing dragon and the donkey! There is also a pancake breakfast, but the one year we indulged in that breakfast we all suffered indigestion for hours - the pancakes spend more time in the air being flipped and tossed around, and they are therefore made to be tough enough to withstand the entertainment feature that they bring to the table, so to speak.

Did we get a single picture? NO! We had 5 minutes to get out the door and the cameras were forgotten.

Tonight? There are parties and many fireworks to choose from. Dh and oldest will participate. Youngest and I will have an early evening at home. He will have general anesthesia tomorrow to get dental work. I have to have him at Children's Hospital by 5:30 a.m. tomorrow - so no late night for us tonight.

Tomorrow? Will be a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day for youngest and me. Please keep a good thought for our sweet little one. Thanks.

What He WILL Eat.

It's been going around; this What My Spouse Will Eat thing. Babelbabe and Joke have done it; maybe others as well.

I can whup you all with what my spouse won't eat. Instead, it's infinitely easier to make up the very short list of what he will eat.

Salmon, cooked medium well done (I like it barely done and very juicy)
Scrambled eggs or well-done omelettes
Swiss cheeses and their direct relations, like Jarlsburg
Cheddar cheese, the sharper the better
Romaine lettuce, oak leaf lettuce and leafy green lettuce
Pasta of almost any kind
Pesto
Tomatoes
Olives - preferably black
Mushrooms
Green beans
Broccoli
Corn
Bread of almost any kind
Almost any rice
Honey Gone Nuts Granola
Chocolate, banana nut or poppy seed muffins
Cherry Pie
Mosts cake
Dark Chocolate
Some cookies
Most nuts, but not Brazil nuts
Coffee with cream
Tofu
Canned beans
Pizza with black olives, mushrooms and onions
He will eat Italian food and mexican food, but no meat of any kind
Will eat spicy broccoli Chinese food, some lo mein

You will notice there is NO flesh except for salmon. Few vegetables. Limited cheese selections.

I'm telling you, it's a bitch.

Guess what I'm doing today!

WRONG!

No. Not Unpacking.

No. Not returning 13 phone calls or answering 39 emails.

I. Am. Polyurethaning. Hardwood. Floors.

1700 sf.

On the Main Level.

Jay-sus - I haven't been this exhaustsed in years. YEARS, I tell you.

We've Waddled Back!

YES! Back from To Hell and Back.

The trip in a nutshell?
1. No Planes, 2 trains.
2. Lotsa Automobile
3. A blow-up mattress & pump
4. Four Slightly Seedy Sleeping Accommodations
5. A few ailments
6. Swimming pools with crystal clarity - devine.
7. Swimming pools with bad test results - not so devine. Baths for all. Scrubdowns, in fact.
8. Korean Heritage Camp - the experience has left me speechless with emotion.

I'm Outta Heah!

No, not trotting off in a fit of pique.

It's VaCay. It's 2-season packing. It's trying to remember to do Everything beforehand - but one never can. So we have a BackUp Plan. Or Two.

But probably no blog posting; and worse, no blog READING.

And I have No Idea where we are going. But it may involve planes, trains and automobiles.

List Friday: What's Missing?

As suggested by Loretta

1. My mind, or at least parts of it.
2. The rest of that sentence I was just uttering.
3. The little sack of dried bay leaves I purchased not 2 days ago. The corned beef won't be the same without it.
4. The Jenny sweater I left in The Broadmoor in 1989, along with the panty half of a fancy Italian bra and panty set.
5. 3 sets of earrings; opal triplets, sapphires and 1/2 of a diamond stud set.
6. 47 pair of sunglasses, at least.
7. A one-piece swim suit that was flattering. Left in the pool cabana at my Chicago friends' country house.
8. Oldest's kindergarten interview appointment, sometime in August at 10:40 -day unknown. We can find out what day when teachers come back to school Aug 11. That leaves alot of days in August un-vacationable.
9. My box of tools! It's gone, I tell you!
10. A pillow sham. I tore the house apart looking for it 4 years ago. Didn't find it in the move 3 years ago. I finally gave away the matching duvet in utter disgust. And found the sham Last Week.

My current favorite summer hat

It's washable and ever-so-wearable. It's comfy, cool and provides good coverage. And it's in earth tones.

I hope to be sporting a bicycle helmet most of next year. But the rattlers are out something fierce right now, and I'm not testing fate with the training wheel set.

For blackbird
and yes, it's a day early. I had an adult handy today to help. Oldest tends to shoot great pictures of nostril hairs.

There are two 5 year olds in our house for a month.

Our sons are not quite 11 months apart. Irish Twins. Of Korean Ancestry. These sons were not born of my uterus; they were born in my heart and adopted a year apart.

Oldest is an Old Five; he seems very much older than his years in so many ways, and so much younger than his years in other ways. Oldest is very sensitive and takes life seriously. Most of the time. He has learned that being the class clown is a cover up for extreme shyness. So we now have a serious goofball on our hands, if that makes sense. He also treads lightly on the planet. Unless someone spills something on him, his clothing remains pristine. If he sneaks into bed with us, he is considerate and tries not to wake us and will nearly always go back to sleep.

Youngest is a Very Young Five; he is just now talking in full sentences some of the time, entering into conversations at a very basic level, and able to trade niceties in two, possibly three word, exchanges. If it is a subject that interests him. Like trains, cars or crunchy carbohydrates. The expression 'sneakin' along' has absolutely no application for this child. He thunders and roars! I am woken daily to a very happy, sturdy little boy climbing into bed beside me, rooting around to get the most choice spots of the bed and pillow, and whispering "I want WAFFLES, Mommy!"

Yesterday, they started their Summer Adventure Day Camp at our neighboring town's rec center. It has about 45-60 kids enrolled, ages 5-10. I put some effort into picking out their backpacks, water bottles and extra clothing/hats/sunscreen/lunch/snacks. We did it together so they would know how to open everything and where their items were stored in their new backpacks. The 11 months between them seemed more like 2 years with their abilities to absorb the information I was trying to impart the last few days:
1. What to expect at camp.
2. How I expected them to behave.
3. Handling adoption questions.
4. Asking for help with toileting, etc.

Oldest? Asked questions about everything. Youngest? Begged for a movie during the entire exchange.

So I had 6 hours OFF yesterday. I spent at least 5 hours of that missing them.

I HAVE A BLOGROLL!

Yes! They are shamelessly cut n pasted from Carolyn (TMI Spot)!
I will add YOU later! I am a bit confused at how I did this! Bye!

The Summer 1978 Meme: My Torrid Tale

Summer of 1978 was the year of my 1st divorce. Yes, I was a child bride. Both sets of parents had to sign permission for us to marry. And he was 2 years older than me! Why did I marry so young? No - no baby on the way. Because I was an IDIOT, that's why.

I spent the next 6 years after the wedding thusly: Spent 2 weeks opening gifts and setting up a tiny duplex as 'home'. When the last gift was opened, I called my mother and said I wanted to move back home as I couldn't cook and was sick of husband complaining. She replied "You ARE home. Figure it out." We bought a house, with his parents as co-buyers as we were too young to originate a loan. The house cost $18,900. It was built in 1880.

I worked in law offices, then started my own business. Modeled for hair/makeup photo shoots early mornings/evenings and weekends. Worked out Every.Single.Day at the downtown YMCA, which had exactly 3 women members in their co-ed phyed classes when I started working out. Meanwhile, I put husband through 6 years of undergrad and part of grad school. And paid for Every. Single. Thing. Did I mention he was a spoiled Mama's Boy? And that his parents were wealthy, and he was used to buying whatever he wanted? And that I loved his mother to pieces? More than him?

In 1977, I decided I was done raising my soon to be ex-husband. By now, I was living between 2 communities, as dh had gotten a job 4 hours away up in the mountains. We bought a nice condo up there, right at the bottom of a ski lift. But I was still essentially maintaining 2 households on my income, as his seemed to evaporate. I filed my own 'dissolution of marriage' paperwork and had him served. I hammered out our separation agreement, giving myself 75% of the assets. It still cost me a huge sum of money in 1977 dollars - $25,000 - to get out of that marriage. We did not tell his parents for 6 months. It broke his mother's heart. We were That Close.

I found cajones I never knew I had that year. I left a man who had controlled me since I was 15. And I never looked back.

And I discovered P.A.R.T.Y.I.N.G While you guys were riding your bikes around and playing in forts made of tangled roots, I was partying. Aspen. Vail. Boulder. Lower Downtown Denver at a gay dance club called Tracks, which was the Studio 54 of the West. Their sound system was so great, it was worth the drive.

So, here's a typical day, summer of 1977. I might work; I might not. My house payment was $144.06. Bills were low. I had a huge garden and ate out of that. Friends always brought over tons of food and booze. If I had scheduled work that day, I might have to start REALLY early if it was a photo shoot. If it was office work, I could get up around 7. Throw on nice clothes and catch the bus. Read on the bus. Read for lunch. Read on the bus ride home. Miss my stop. Read some more. Get home, find guests waiting on my big front porch. We'd cook, drink and eat. Go clubbing, or maybe not. Get home, catch 4 or 6 hours of sleep, and do it all over again. Weekends were parties, trips to lakes for boat rides (I couldn't risk water skiing - no health insurance!) trips to the mountains for hikes and picnics, sometimes packing in and camping. Life was not just good - it was great. I had never had such fun in my life.

I met J in a bookstore, winter of 1977. He was 10 years older than me. He was a vegetarian, very well educated, very handsome, very laid back. He had greenhouses of gorgeous plants. And lots of cash. Since math wasn't my forte, it never occurred to me that That Much Money probably didn't come from owning greenhouses. And that he traveled to California alot. Plant business, you know? Nah, that wasn't it. If you saw the movie 'Blow' with Johnny Depp, you get the idea. It took me 3 years to finally figure it out. He was very slick about it. And not a user. I'd drive to San Francisco while he was 'working', and buy clothing from little known designers. Go to City Lights bookstore. Entertain myself. The fact that we had a Mercedes, a BMW and flew first class to places to party should have been sending off alarm bells. But, everyone loved us, you know? We were The Couple.

I decided that we should start hosting big dinner parties. But I couldn't cook! J sent me to cooking school. So Summer of 1978, I learned how to cook properly. It was a great summer. I sold my business and gardened, read about history, and religions and sure; some trash - and cooked. I do believe that 1978 was the best summer of my life.

Things went to hell later, but this is Summer of 1978.

Is it REALLY so dangerous, so different, today?

Badger's post got me thinking: Is it Really that dangerous, so terrorist-ridden, so snatch-your-child horrible, that we can never take our eyes off our children for even a minute? Are there Really that many more perverts in the world? Will our children ever be allowed to roam our neighborhoods at any age? Or were our parents just "Bad Parents"?

What do you think? What is your comfort level with allowing your children out of sight?

30 Seconds of Terror - The Mystic Tan

Vanity, thy name is Victoria.

I decided I needed to have some color for all the end-of-school year parties, birthday parties, visits to the pool, an evening event, etc; all happening this week. Me and the tan-in-a-can? Not so good. A few neighbors, friends and my younger sister have used an instant salon tan with great success. For $20.00, how could I go wrong?

HA!

First off, I read the brochure while waiting for the room to be vacated and cleaned. The photos of the process and equipment should have given me a clue - anything that advises you to wear eye guards, breathing guards and to coat certain areas might not be a great idea for the dramatic and/or faint of heart. 'Phfft!' I told myself. When the very deeply tanned host called my name, I confidently strode forth. To Experience the Mystic Tan. To.My.Doom.

We entered the room, and I was surprised at the size of the tanning 'shower'. I should also have noted that the host had to give a good tug on the door - more on that later. He then went through the entire process, poo-pooing the need for eye or nose guard wear (thank God! I said to myself) but stressed the use of the hair net, lotion to block absorption on certain area "Dry Areas" he repeated again and again - heck, I'm dry all over - this is the desert! and also to stand on the metal plate in the shower. Something about how the metal plate negatively charges your body, attracting the liquid to you, or something like that - I was starting to do my usual shutdown when people rattle off instructions. The host rattles off something and then states "And this is important - be sure to dry yourself off, starting with your feet and working towards your head. Dry off very well to avoid streaking." "I don't leave it on until it's dry?!" I ask. NO! He starts to leave, waving a hand toward the poster full of photos and directions, then pops back in and stresses to use the lotion "UNDER your fingernails!" and then he firmly shuts the door. I'm alone with a sink, 2 jugs of tanning-blocking lotion, a bowl of candy and a basket full of big, fluffy hair nets. And 2 towels. And the Shower of Doom.

I shed all clothing and don the hair net after removing my jewelry. I start to really lotion up areas that he said - feet, hands, knees, elbows, between fingers and toes. For some reason I remember him stressing the bottom of my feet - so I really slather the lotion on my soles. Which means I am now sliding around the room, thinking "What a ridiculous thing to have people do!" but I make it into the shower okay. I note the red Start Button. I stand as I have been instructed; legs shoulder width apart, arms out from the sides, with lower arms and hands pointing down down from the elbows, fingers spread. I feel like Quick-Draw McGraw at this point, and I'm getting nervous. The myriad of directions is swimming in my head - Let's see; it's 15 seconds of spray in the front, then a 10 second delay to allow you to turn around, position yourself and then it sprays your back. Okay! I push the button and suddenly remember the first warning "The.Spray.Will.Feel.Quite.Cold."

I immediately forget to take the huge, deep breath I am supposed to take immediately after pushing the red start button.

SHIT!

I hear the nozzels powering up.

SHIT!

SHIT! IT"S FREEZING! And OH GOD! It's misting a Toxic Soup, and oh Crap I was supposed to keep my eyes closed and HOLY CRAP I'm going to have to breath in this lung-dissolving goo! ACK! HELLLLLLLLLLP!

I start panting like I've run a 10k with a fanny-kicking sprint at the end. I am squealing. I am terrified.

The mist shuts off, and I try to push open the door to escape. IT.IS.LOCKED. I am a prisoner.

The spigots power up again. I squeal and shut my eyes. And get blasted on the side. OH FUCK! I was supposed to turn around. I quickly spin and pray my back is now facing the spigots at the right angle. I am almost hyperventilating and cannot seem to keep my eyes closed. I try to squeeze them shut, but they fly open, and start watering with the chemical soup.

It's the longest 15 seconds of my life.

I burst out of the tanning shower and miss the rug so I slide across the floor into the towels. I grab one and immediately give my face a brisk rubdown. I look in the mirror and see a wild-eyed Thing looking back at me. I whip off the stained shower cap and then remember - I'm still covered in this stuff!

I towel off completely opposite of what I've been told (and read in the directions). Do I notice this at the time? No. What I do notice, in bold print on the poster, is an admonition to NOT lotion up the bottoms of your feet. wtf?! He TOLD me to do this. I swear I remember him telling me this!

My stuff is in a pile on the floor. I put on my clothes, find my hat, sunglasses, keys, coin purse that serves as my purse, phone and jewelry. I feel amazingly fine as soon as I get the door open and go out into the waiting room.

It takes hours to process (really, overnight) and I smell that funky smell of self-tanning products. I am excited to see what I look like tan!

I got out of bed with my usual covey of fans present. Oldest immediately asks "Mommy! What is wrong with that toe?" I look down and see a Very Dark Big Toe. On both feet. Streaks on the rest of my feet, with blobs of very dark skin on my ankles. The boys are now rubbing my toes, trying to clean them! Youngest trots off to the bathroom, and comes back with a wet washcloth.

While Youngest is scrubbing for all he's worth on my right big toe, I notice I have a huge white streak on the inside of my legs. And a matching white streak on the other leg. Lovely! And, what's this? My hands now resemble Baboon hands and are a palm reader's dream - all the lines are extra dramatic. And did I mention, Orange?! And my fingertips? Looks like I've been digging in piles of rich, dark loam - not the crappy clay we have here. Youngest notices my hand and starts scrubbing away at it with the washcloth. I decide to shower. And really survey the damage in the bathroom mirrors. I look like an idiot! Splotchy, streaky, And decidedly orange.

It was 98 degrees here today. And guess who wore long pants and a long-sleeved shirt, foot-covering shoes and a big hat today?

Rambling thoughts on a Sunday...

I really need to plan our summer vacations. We have an impending Korean culture camp; do we even have room reservations? NO! Have I set up Chicago, Las Vegas, Florida and Points East? NO!
The house is disorganized - a chronic situation - remember the packrats that reside here - and there will be no cleaning today - too much going on (HOORAY!). Meanwhile dh and Oldest are sleeping in the guest room, and Youngest is not 2" away, snoozing in his nest of pillows in our bedroom. We have had guests staying until waaaaaaaaaay after dinner, and we have played movies for the children to keep them inside and away from the mosquitoes - I guess Scooby Doo is a bit scary and causing night upsets - oops!

We have a largeish garden plot at dh's company community garden plot. Today, we will plant something, anything, in our garden plot. Yes, I know; we're Very Late. We've been waiting to get the rototiller from my parents' house, but now we'll just use a spade and turn over bits of soil here and there and plop big vegetable plants in the dirt - instant garden. The rest I will sow to cut flowers. The other gardeners will share vegetables with us, and we will happily share cut bouquets. I think that's a good arrangment! So today, we will take tools, seeds, and chairs to our city garden plot.

We have a barbeque to attend mid-afternoon, and afterwards we will go to our community pool for an evening swim. I like to swim after the heat of the day and the crowds. Then we shower the boys there, put them in their pajamas and they are nearly asleep on the short drive home. A quick read and rock, and they are off in dreamland.

I need to make summer-weight quilts for the boys' beds. There is a fabulous quilting shop not too far away, full of delicious cottons and flannels. I'm going to let the boys pick their patterns and colors. With the boys in full-day summer camp 2 days a week, I should be able to finish them - probably just in time for fall... hmmmmm. I should've started this in the spring. Are those quilts-in-a-day patterns really possible?!

A few of my friends want to learn how to can, pickle and put up jellies and jams. I've done all this, but not lately. I'm going to get all my recipes and equipment out, check it over and start planning some canning days. The girlfriend I used to can with is now too busy to participate, I fear. It seems like just a couple of years ago that we were learning to do this, but it's been more like 25 years! I'll invite her. Does anyone have any favorite recipes or tips to share? I know to put the pickling cukes on ice for a few hours before pickling. Any other tricks you use, or resources you have found invaluable?

Refinishing the hardwood flooring needs to be done this summer, too. I use Bona Kemi's easy refinishing products - a water based polyurethane applied twice with a special applicator. It is really easy to apply and lasts about a year. But it's tedious in that all the furniture has to be moved, the floors scrupulously vacuumed, washed and dried, and no children can be around. The smell fades very quickly - it's pretty non-toxic. And the scratches and abuse on the floors? Disappears into a gleaming gloss of perfection. Here where I buy the supplies: Floor refinishing supplies

K and I need to finish the window treatment in our bedroom. The pieces are lurking in every corner. It's just finding the time to do it. I'm looking forward to having black-out drapes in here - it's bright at 6 a.m. now. We bought the dark velvet off Ebay a long time ago - really a bargain. Who knew we'd be using it in our bedroom - K got it to make 'media room curtains' for his future media room. Sometimes his bargain hunting pays off in mysterious ways. Not that I'm condoning pack-rat-iness, but sometimes...?

And I'm making myself tired just thinking about all this future busy-ness. It's not so bad while one is doing it, but the planning of it - e x h a u s t i n g!

Stolen from My Float:

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