Friday, January 26, 2007

New Words for 2007 - hot off the press!NEW WORDS FOR 2007:


Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace!

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire ! day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12! . IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. ! OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Humbled by the kindness of strangers...

I really have to take a moment and thank you Internets. You fine, wonderful folk, who take time out of your very busy days to email and post support. It is astonishing! Really, it is!

And -- I KNOW we will get through this. We will find the right blend of reading programs (anyone have any suggestions beside Spalding Method - the home schoolers favorite?), tutors, therapists and school.

And now it's time to go off the a week long vacation. Most excellent timing.

This post will stay up One Day...

We had Ryan's IEP meeting, his Triennial. This time, he had Many, Many more tests, including an DAS (an I.Q. type test) and a battery of physical, emotional and scholastic testing.
When I sat down for the meeting, I was surprised at the number of people there. Luckily, I brought our private SLP, who is a Director of one of a hospital therapy groups; she has gone back into private practice one half day a week to sharpen her skills. Ryan is her only patient. We grabbed all of her available time, at the urging of our former SLP.
The 4 main therapists and the school director did the talking at first. They hit on Ryan's strong points, which are many. During a pause in the conversation, I quipped "WoW! You guys are saying so many great things, but I have a feeling you're leading up to some big whammy.... ?"
With that, the school psychiatrist stood up. She went over the basis for the test, stating the range of errors, the fact that Ryan was three DAYS over 66 months so they had to use the 66-71 month age group for all his testing, which meant he was being compared to children much older than he actually is. She handed me Ryan's IQ test, and handed out 2 copies for the other groups to share. One of the therapists said "OH MY GOD!" I yelled "WHAT?! WHAT?!"

My little Ryan scored 138 on the nonverbal portion of the test.
My little Ryan scored 53 on the verbal portion of the test.
The school has never seen that wide a split in the 2 areas of testing.
Having a difference of TWENTY POINTS means a child has a learning disability.
Ryan has a split of 85 points.

The therapists quickly grouped together and talked. They quickly agreed, based on the results of weeks of testing, that he is hard wired for the DAS results. ie - he's not going to suddenly start talking like his peer group, even though he can read and write circles around them now. He is ephasic in alot of output. Which means, he was either oxygen deprived in utero or at birth; suffered a stroke at some point, or he was put together a bit wrong when his brain halves joined. Would an MRI point it out? Probably. So, we'll do a neural psych test and an MRI when he's nearer to 7.

The school district has no idea how they are going to teach him. He is going to suffer huge consequences as he's putting language together incorrectly - from his extreme visual acuity, not from phonemic awareness and correct building blocks. I am now researching like mad to figure out which school can best meet his needs. Or do I just figure out what learning method is best from him and hire tutors to teach him? I don't know.

I new there was a reason he was unlabelable in his learning disabilities. I just had no idea how huge it was.

When the boys are in bed, I have cried rivers. Not that I am sorry for myself - but for my beautiful, loving, smart son! What a cross he has to bear. At times like this, I question what kind of God would strike such a gentle spirit with such a mean blow.

And I am telling NO ONE here about Ryan's difficulties. He is what he is. I don't want parents alluding to the RainMan in our midst. We will just get him all the best help we can.

The most touching thing is how the Therapist Alert system went into overdrive. Every therapist we've ever known has called and come over to smooch Ryan and pat my hand. And tell me "Oh, He's going to be FINE! You just watch our Ryan go!" Which makes me sob tears of gratefulness, but the layer of fear on my soul is huge. I am never afraid, of anything. I have faced the Devil and won.
But this? This is our most difficult journey yet.
Please think good thoughts for Ryan. And maybe keep a teeny slice of your heart positive for him. He is so good, so kind, so very dear.

Monday, January 22, 2007

My new Royal Title:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Viscountess Victoria the Cannibalistic of Buzzcock Lepshire
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Friday, January 19, 2007


It's Friday!
Did It SNOW today?

Snow --

Wait for it...

Saturday, Sunday AND Monday.

And it's cold and miserable.
What is that; six weeks in a row of snow? I'm done counting.

It better not be miserable and cold in Florida when we got there next week... Rain I can take. But ice storm or snow?
I Will Be seriously PISSED. (which is 'mad', not 'drunk' for all you English or Aussie folk out there)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

January Catalog Lust:

No, it's not gardening catalogs, although that's a good guess.



Spring Break Opportunies for Parker and Ryan.
For those poor stuck-at-home youngsters who don't get to travel to Mexico or Vail for Spring Break, Boulder Valley School District offers a huge smorgasboard of choices:

Theatre, Dance, Art, Sports, you think?


Anime: Japanese Manga Illustration
Build Your Own Character
Glass Fusing Made Easy
Math Patterns and Sequences
Diorama Building
Studio Graffiti Drawing
Chinese Mandarin Introduction
Abrakadoodle's Young Masters Workshop
Cartooning for Kids
Impressionist Workshop
Writing without Rules
Intro to Rock Climbing
Multi-sensory Reading for Kids

Gees! I was hoping for maybe some fingerpainting or ball kicking. Now I'm sitting here, wishing I was 6 again -- What to suggest to the boys?!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Another Friday-Another Frickity-Frackin' Snowstorm.

It's beyond old and tiring. It's going to bankrupt our little town. All this clearing and plowing and sanding and salting - it costs alot. We've had over 70" of snow already this winter, all of it in the last four FRIDAYS.

Our town has applied for Federal Disaster Assistance. If we don't get it, there goes our summertime charm - you know, the events that make living in a small town enviable?

In our case, at risk are:
The beginning/end of summer ice cream socials at the pools.
The 4th of July parade and pancake breakfast (never mind that the pancakes are like hockey pucks - these babies are made to be air borne as our local police and fireman flip them dozens of feet into the air and even occasionally catch them and then - yes! - serve them!)
The 3 or so evening Concerts in the Park
Free swimming pool usage
Chili Cook Off
and other fun things

But the worst?
Our town will not have the money to do the extensive annual garden plantings that make our community worth traveling to just for floral photo ops.

And, really; compared to areas in Colorado that have really suffered losses (ranchers in particular have suffered huge losses of livestock, is this small beans? And should we all just suck it up and suffer? Probably. But, it is still hard to swallow.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I stand corrected; the winds were 115 mph here!

I think that rates a
and an examination of the manse all around the outside today. I'm taking binoculars so I can check the roof tiles; noting where there are separations and nail pops, checking connections to the electrical box (just visually - no screw driver involved so relax!), making sure all vent pipes are present and accounted for, etc.

I know they build these houses with hurricane clips and engineer for them for Cat 3 hurricanes. Now I see why; we just went through one yesterday.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

A wind gust of 93 mph just hit - UPDATED!

and they are expecting gusts of 100 mph.
It's almost 11 p.m.
The high wind alert will go through 5 p.m. tomorrow.
The back of the house is shaking - kind of vibrating.
The boys are in bed with Ken, in the safest room in the house right now. The guest room. You can't even hear the wind in there.

I can actually feel the wind whistling through the house. If the house makes it through this without losing half the roof or gutters or something, I will be amazed.

This is spooky. The bed is actually shaking now. I've put survival type stuff - shoes, winter coats, snow pants -- by everyone. You know, in case the house blasts apart or something. And we have to make a run for it. And no way I'm sending the children to school tomorrow.

Life in the Rocky Mountain Foothills - it's everything it's cracked up to be. And so much more. I just hope this isn't a Dorothy experience for us. I'm completely out of red shoes...

It's now 10ish a.m. on Monday - and the winds have died down for a bit. I'm letting the boys sit at the kitchen table (a block of west-facing windows and an 8' high sliding door that shimmies and shakes like a go-go dancer on crack when it's windy.

And, thanks for your concern! It was very touching to log in today and read the comments. If things really go To Shit, I will set up shop in the Media Room. Which is bordered on the west by a 16 step stairwell, and on the east by concrete foundation walls. It's windowless, reinforced (with the special soundproofing) and my father called to remind me to go to an area that 'has a void' in the event of catastrophe.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Another Day - Another Blizzard

Another foot of snow on the ground, the wind is howling and the snow, she continues.

Enough, already!