NEW WORDS FOR 2007:
Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace!
1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire ! day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMS: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12! . IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
17. ! OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).
18. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.
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7 comments:
this is priceless!!
I am a day late in offering you my thoughts concerning your last post. I want to reach through the computer and meet and talk with you all in person - you are such a wonderful unit and so good to each other. Miscellania - you are one of the strongest, most loyal and thoughtful people I have read. Ryan is one of the luckiest of kids to have you and your husband as parents. I stand in awe. I have no idea what all this would be like but his soul was meant for your care. Blog it out and we will listen.
On a lighter note, today's words had me nodding and laughing. Is this one of the reasons why I have not returned to the paid workforce yet you think?
Crop dusting...heh-heh.
I work in a cube farm and thank GOD the crop dusting cube mate retired last year. We have seagull managers in the adminisphere and assmosis is far more common than it should be. Zoink.
I worked for the biggest seagull manager in the world!
Her business went bankrupt. Karma?
And that's 18 reasons why I don't work in an office, and never intend to again, if I can help it. (I especially love #18)
I heard of another one along these lines.
SARCHASM: the gulf between those who deliver the cutting wit and those whose heads it flies right over ...
(or something like that)
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