Thursday, December 21, 2006

Fairly quivering with exitement!

In the true Spirit of the Season, I am going to harass the hell out of a telemarketing outfit that is calling our DO NOT CALL listed, UNLISTED home phone number. Tonight they made the fatal mistake of being rude and then hanging up on me when I requested a supervisor. BIG Mistake.

Have you heard the call played on a radio station from a clever person, interrogating a telemarketer? It's WonDerFull. The callee pretends he is a detective with a police department, investigating the scene of a murder. Which has happened at the home of the phone number the telemarketer has called, and who is now embroiled in the crime. The 'detective' quickly obtains the telemarketer's name and address. You can hear the panic in the telemarketer's voice. Insisting over and over he is a telemarketer, doesn't know the victim etc etc. The 'detective' quizzes him on the number the caller is calling from (I did a *69 and got the number when they called tonight, so I know they are an outfit out of Manhattan) and says "Yes! That's the one - we've got dozens of recorded calls from that number to a local pay phone and the murder victim's phone, setting up drug drops and even murder for hire - we've notified local law enforcement and they are on their way to your location right now (talking over shoulder to a pretend police officer about making sure a 210 was called in, etc). He repeats "Do NOT hang up - it will just be worse for you if you run! I may be able to help you if you just hang on..." and then goes on to give him gruesome details, requesting the 'coroner' to notice this and that stab wound, "Gosh, I can't believe somebody would gouge out eyes!" etc.

Anyway, I have to find the script for this. I found it on somebody's site a while back and laughed myself wheezy hearing it. I promised myself I would use it on the next rude telemarketer. We have an unlisted number, are on every do not call list, and take great pains to put DO NOT DISTRIBUTE/DO NOT SELL on everything in which we have to release a phone number. So I kinda feel well within my rights. I'm going to call and report this outfit too, as the fools are also calling after 9 pm.

Now that I've vented, who knows if I'll have the chutzpah to actually do it. I may type up a quick script in word, just to further vent my spleen.

Ah, can you tell I'm avoiding boring chores?

I am painfully polite to telemarketers. Most immediately remove our number, returning the courtesy of my tone and reasonableness of my request. But ones who don't? I'm loaded for bear and have a script! I should record the call...


nutmeg said...

One back on the tele-marketers - I'm with you Miscellania!

Most of the ones that call us in Sydney are doing so from India these days. You know when one is calling as there is a few second gap before they come on the line after you've picked up. So as soon as I say hello, if no-one answers straight away, I hang up. I've only managed to hang up on one or two legitimate callers. If they are legitimate, they'll call back (and they do). It's been the best - literally no more having to talk to them anymore. My other method is to screen calls through the answering machine.

Anyway, my parents have arrived for the week and one other sister is due in a couple of days. So I'll be signing off for a little while. Before I go I'd like to wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas (from your posts you are already well underway on this one!). It's been great "getting to know you" this year and I look forward to reading some more in 2007. Take care :-)

Sarah Louise said...

Two words: caller ID.

If it's an 866 or an "unknown" #, I just don't answer.

Yes, I am also avoiding cleaning the house and finishing the packing and getting ready for work...

Have a blessed Christmas and enjoy your family--I hope your K has enough time off that you can give him a super big hug.

Paula said...

We have been blissfully without the ring of telemarketers since we got on the list; well, if you don't count all the POLITICAL phone calls we got.

Suse said...

Happy Christmas to you and your boys, from me and mine.

My float said...

I do the same as Nutmeg. This only gets me into trouble with one of my friends who inexplicably lets a full five seconds pass before she which point I've hung up thinking that it's a telemarketing call from India.

I try and help people who are calling about surveys, though. I think it's a crappy job and feel bad for them, so I'm extra polite.

Have a wonderful Christmas!