Tuesday, October 03, 2006

1/4 Brazilian. A Play in One Scene

Scene: Tonight, in the Guest Room, doing a 'Family Read'
Players: The Mom, Parker and Ryan

Much trotting back and forth of two little boys, anxious to get 'just the right books' for their nightly read. Usually it's Daddy who does the 'family read', but dear old Daddy is out of town. So, they settle for Mom, who doesn't read nearly as many books; and who boots everyout OUT of the guest room to their own rooms, with barely a five-minute rocking session apiece. Daddy falls asleep in the guest room with the boys, and they occasionally end up sleeping 3-in-a-bed-Irish all night.

Did I mention I love this Daddy all the more for this very thing? This falling asleep with his sons? It is so sweet and dear.

But back to tonight.

Ryan trots back to his room One. More. Time. Comes bursting back into the guest room with his baby quilt and lovey. He flops back on the bed, and with much fussing and adjusting, tries to get his blankie just right. Mom jiggles around a bit, trying to make room for him. Parker starts to flop around a bit, rooting around for a more comfy spot. His book flops back to the headboard, and the mom reaches up to bring it back down. At the same moment, Ryan reaches down with a Large Paw and gives his blankie a Mighty Jerk to cover himself, for once and for all. Except Ryan didn't grab his blankie. He grabbed mommy's nightie and an excrutiating handful of pubic hair!

Mom lets out a blood curdling howl. Tears spring to her eyes. The boys start to shriek in terror and concern.

Parker yells "Ryan! You HURT Mommy! What DID YOU DO?! Oh Mommy! Should I get Mr. Chilly?" (The iced gel pack)

The Mom is grabbing her crotch, and sitting up, quite sick to her stomach and afraid to look.

Ryan says "I think I hurt Mommy's Penis."

With that, the Mom and Parker roar with laughter. The Mom says "I'm Fine! Let's read!"

and Wise Old Parker says, very quietly "I know you don't have a penis, Mom. You have angina. You better tell Ryan pretty soon..."

Fade to black with the mom laughing herself into a coughing fit.

6 comments:

PJ said...

Oh, I do hope your angina is better today!

My float said...

Oh, ouch. OUCH. Brought tears to my eyes.

And Mr Chilly?!

By the way, that's a lovely daddy who is happy to sleep three in a bed.

nutmeg said...

I don't mean to laugh at your pain (heart or otherwise!) but that is a great story to share with us all. I didn't realise the nightly read could be frought with so much danger :)

Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Anonymous said...

One of my boys said to his brothers once "Mummy doesn't have a penis like us, she has a Volvo."

- Suse (blogger won't let me in tonight)

Carolyn said...

Oh that's cracking me up.

What a husband you have!

Angina, hee hee.