Stuffed like a Turkey

We had a big feast here at Grandma's, again. Sunday we had Thanksgiving. Today, we had our annual shrimp scampi and fish fry. Complete with greens in hot sauce, green rice casserole (made with broccoli, Velveeta, evaporated milk, white rice etc), green beans and some other stuff.

Gees, we waddled away from the table, only to return to polish off the leftover Thanksgiving pies with ice cream. My clothing no longer fits. This is ridiculous.



Today was a lot of fun for the boys. Uncle Glenn was in rare form. He had them outside, picking up the big sticks from the dozens of trees on Grandma's lawn. Then they had to 'cool off' by getting the big water guns out of the garage and loading them up with swimming pool water and getting soaked, after they blasted ant nests on the ground, real and imaginary. Change of clothing later, Grandma and I decide to run to some Big Box to get her a new laser printer/fax (on sale for $150! yay!) We come back to tales of great excitement - Ryan has fallen in the pool! And rescued himself! Glenn says "Ryan fell in trying to fill his water pistol. He immediately popped up, yelped "I didn't do it!" and hopped out, using his arms to pull his body fully out like he was a Tarzan extra. Glenn said he asked him "Well, who in the heck pushed you in, then?" and Ryan said "Well, I didn't DO it."

You in the Special Kids world will figure it out immediately. Ryan leaves off descriptors. He didn't feel the need to add "ON PURPOSE!" because - Duh. The Dude Didn't Do It. Like. On Purpose. He told Uncle Glenn "These things happen, you know." which is something we say all the time when the water goes over, the plate flips over on the way to a table in the lunchroom, etc. The reset button won't get switched if panic sets in. If the Special Dude or Dudette gets a minute of "Hey! No Worries!" their little reset buttons will hit, and they will start again from square one. If they panic, they run.



I don't run around, waving my arms and yelping "Holy Shit - Autistic Kid! Beware! Take care of him!" No, I expect him to solve a lot of his problems and figure out how to manage his world before I intervene. But when a lunch room lady says "Hey, Ryan dropped his full tray today, and not only didn't pick it up, he didn't go get Mr. Bobby (janitor) or tell anyone; he just stood there and finally said "OH!" and then ran to get a new lunch!" I will say, "Well, Ryan has troubles with his Reset button. Next time you see him, and he's alone, tell him it's okay that he dropped his tray, but he needs to be responsible for the cleanup (the step involving Mr. Bobby), telling you (actual reset key on her computer to enable him to get 2 lunches in one day) and THEN to go get another lunch.

You with normals cannot even imagine how many steps there are in normal navigation for your children. It's automatic for them. But for autistic children, their world is a hugely complex series of bewildering chess games. And sometimes that game just can't be played. I can tell you I bring A LOT of hot fancy coffees to our staff for working so hard with Ryan. That includes secretaries, lunchroom staff, janitors, aids, etc. Ryan loves our school because he is welcomed and valued there. I know that's not usual, as kids like Ryan can suck the energy out of anyone. But these are dear, sweet, educatable kids; they just need a little bit of extra time and consideration. We know teachers/staff/admin don't have a lot of 'extra' to give. And we notice it 1000% when you do, and appreciate it even more.

Feeding 80/The Hannukah of Birthdays

This could also read 'Feeling 80' at the moment. Because? Last night we fed 80 people. In one and a half hours. And I only have one small saucepan of curry left.
Some background: Our neighborhood features a K-8 school. This year, there are over 1000 kiddos registered and attending. So, a staff of around 80 services the school. It is an English as a Second Language (ESL) specialty school, as our population here is 17% Asian - Engineers imported from China, South Korea, India, Japan and other Pacific Rim countries. We have children who speak NO English in classrooms. Volunteers from the neighborhood, and older students fluent in the language, help out in the classrooms. Anyway, it is a superb school; and after some cage rattling, I am very happy with the level of Special Needs services Ryan is receiving to help with his speech difficulties.
Unfortunately, last year the school had a snafu with District PTA and our school's attempt to set up a 501.c.3 separate from the PTA for fundraising. Why would a school set up another 501.c.3 (tax exempt) fundraising vehicle, you may ask? Because District and National PTA could possibly direct how your very own school can spend the money, that's why. For example, spending the money on salaries for paraprofessionals to assist with teaching and pupil management might not be okay with District. And other spending might be ix-nayed. And why should ANY entity that is not directly affected by decisions be allowed involvement in the decision-making process, we asked. So, we are allowing PTA to die a slow, and now painful, death. We spent all the money in the PTA accounts to drain it down last year. However, PTA directors and school officials could not tell the rest of us what really happened. Our school district Big Cheeses obviously told them to keep mum about it. It meant that disorganization and confusion were rampant in the school. And volunteers were not organized as our former PTA people were and are understandably jaded, and have been unfairly accused of 'having an agenda'. Puhlease.
Last year, the rumor mill started up in rare form. "Teachers are quitting over this PTA fiasco!", "Our students won't get to do the 5th-grade trip (camping for 2 nights and some team-building stuff to prepare them for middle school), and all our Field Trips are at risk!" "National PTA is going to SUE US!"
All not true.
But what that kind of gossip and doomsday predicting can do, in the end, is affect how the community looks on your school. It will eventually start to hurt property values! PEOPLE - THINK!
Some parents are trying very hard to renew school spirit, for lack of a better term. One group has begun a landscape refurbishing that gave the school a pretty astonishing face lift overnight. There are other groups that are going full steam with the new 501.c.3 and other good things. And I offered to do the one thing I can do - I can feed large groups pretty easily.
So, during Parent/Teacher conferences this week and next, the parents are feeding our school staff of 80 lovely, home-cooked meals. Last night I made two kinds of currty, Thai and Indian, and other parents brought all the sides. And they were yummy! Authentic family recipies, eagerly and lovingly prepared for a staff we are lucky to have serving our neighborhood. And I can't wait to tell all the other parents who helped last night that our dinner got a standing ovation from the teachers and staff.

Now, about the Hannukah of Birthdays. My birthday was a week ago. I have always felt "Why celebrate only one day?" I celebrate the entire month of October! Many lunches out, many celebratory walks and trips. It's a beautiful time of year to get out and about with friends. So I use my birthday as an excuse to see my friends.

First day of School - Photos!

Parker and Ryan in front of Parker's classroom

Parker and his DESK! Loaded up, even!

Ryan first day of Kindergarten

Parker first day of First Grade

The School Boys!

Busy As Bees We Are

Firmly planted in Week Two of school. I am delighted to report that all seems well with Parker and Ryan. There were enormous fears -- of the lunchroom, of all things -- on the part of the boys, and of the playground, on my part. So Ryan and I have been having a lot of snacks with Parker in the cafetorium (doesn't that sound like a devine place to be buried?), and we've been shuffling our feet on the playground along with piles of children, one of whom is our very own Parker. Parker and Ryan seem to have no trepidation regarding the hectic swarm of all-age children on the playground, the lack of fencing, the parking lot nearby with possible child-snatchers lurking in every corner. No, it's Me. And 3 other parents. So we collect our Volunteer badges and park ourselves in sections that seems under supervised, and try to actually Keep Watch v. just riveting eyes on our very own little darlings.

About the time Parker's first recess is over, it's time for Ryan to decamp to kindergarten, fully exercised and bright of eye and spirit. And I ask our energetic kindy teacher "Do you need my help today?" A foolish question. So I stay and do all those things that having 90 eager little learners entail. Much shuffling of paper, assembling of packets, setting up of display walls which all of us parents will eagerly scan, looking for signs of adorable art and literary work.

Too busy to even shop for food, in fact, since Ken is out of town and I dread shopping with the boys. They hang on to the cart, pulling it every which way, dash off in front of other carts to procure tasty tidbits (most of which is ix-nayed - never mind, they try anyway) and are general nuisances. I had to take Ryan today. We were out of too much stuff. The store was pretty empty. And wouldn't you know; not once or twice but three times, another parent with their annoying child kept blocking our way to get places. This woman was oblivious to anyone else in the store. Her daughter (who looked 4 or older) was spitting into her hands and drawing with the saliva - broad slashes with her palms! BEYOND DISGUSTING. I thought 'certainly even this clueless mother can't be aware her child is doing such an incredibly nasty thing', so I took the liberty of gently informing her "Your little one is spitting in her palm and marking territory..." with an Ikea Anna wry smile for emphasis. And do you know what that lovely woman retorted? "So What! Mind your own business!" So I said "Oh dear, I guess I better call management over to monitor the situation." And I did. And guess what? She stormed out of the store, abandoning her cart and snapping and snarling at her daughter. Oh dear. I'll probably end up on the PTO with her at some point and she'll have it in for me.

Let's see; what else...

Back to School is tonight. The Parental Units are coming over to entertain the boys as the husband he is gone. Have to shoe-horn Taekwondo in there somewhere before dinner and after school. Ai Yi Yi.

I feel strange

Ryan resting at Left Hand lake.

Ryan starts kindergarten tomorrow.
I feel strange - not sad, not worried; just-strange.
How can our youngest child be in kindergarten already? Never mind that he is 6, has lost 5 teeth (while his older brother remains a Tooth Virgin) and may tower over his classmates - he is young. His kindy teacher came to the house to meet all of us this past Friday. Ryan hauled her up to his room and showed her his treasures - his tooth fairy box and his books. Our speech therapist was here too, and they chatted out at their cars for awhile. I always wonder if the therapists say "Ryan is doing great but that mother is an eternal annoyance."

Parker at Left Hand lake.

Parker is entering first grade tomorrow. For some reason, I am fine with this. We have the obligatory New Lunch Box, complete with metal water bottle and re-usable environmentally friendly containers. In which I may even occasionally pack a healthy lunch. We have $100's of new school supplies, which have already been dropped off and loaded into his New Desk. Yes, one gets their very own desk in first grade. And their own supplies. Had I known that, I would have labeled every blasted pencil. Not because they are special; because those fuckers are SHARPENED. Do you know how long it takes to sharpen thirty-six #2 pencils?

We don't have new clothes, or new haircuts. We'll get those in early September. Maybe then stuff will be less expensive, and school photos are end of September. Even a bad haircut looks good after 2 weeks, so we'll get those haircuts 1st or 2nd week in September.

I hope to snap some photos tomorrow morning. I'm letting the boys pick their own outfits -- please take that into account as you look at the photos!