Sunday, January 29, 2006

New Record! Christmas decor down before 2/14

Once I left up a REAL Christmas tree 'til late February. A gorgeous 6 foot tall Nobel Fir. It was so fresh when I bought it, it took the greenhouse owner and I 20 minutes to saw 2" off the trunk (with an admittedly lousy saw), and we both worked ourselves into a lather. It made the living room smell DEVINE for weeks. My mother finally harrassed me into taking it down, "FIRE HAZARD" was verbally brandished more than 3 times. Okay! I think you may be right, Mom. As I removed ornaments, off came the needles. I ended up with a jagged javelin pole, which I could've lobbed off the balcony and done myself proud for yardage. Did I? No - I have to admit it didn't occur to me, plus holding it would've been a bit tricky ... What I did was saw it into bits and save it to burn in the woodstove. Like the fire rube I am, I put in kindling. Which only added to the explosion when the pine sap caught a few seconds later. I do believe that's what knocked the chimney pipe askew. This was in 1987, I think.

We had dinner guests last night and enlisted their aid in taking apart the 12 foot tree that held Court in our living room since the day after Thanksgiving. Yes, we now Do Fake. After 30 years of Real, I'm done for awhile. So we invested in a Costco Biggie, Prelit, easy to assemble. True. If we were seven foot tall Samoans. I do not know why my sister Donna always ends up on the ladder with the business end of things, but she's a sort of Take-Charge Individual. We had the children firmly esconced in the family room with a video. Trouble is, we forgot the 16 month old great niece was floating about, supposedly being watched by her 19 yo auntie. Or possibly not. I got a 60 pound section of that pointy, prickley tree and was swinging it down and what do I see? A vision in Pink Footy Pajamas, looking at me with Pure Delight on her face! "FOR ME, ANTIE BICKI?!" ACK! Let's not do in the Baby! Where to put this tree, where to put this - AH YES! ON ME! That's It, sit down quick and wear the tree. My arms and face are a bit scratched. My husband? Wrenched his back trying to grab the tree after he heard me scream. My sister, the baby's grandma? 10 years older and a twisted ankle, coming off the ladder backwards and sideways. The baby? Not a dink on her, and it's the biggest laugh I've gotten out of her yet.

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