Friday, February 29, 2008

Just Another Pap Smear Moment

So, yesterday was my annual check up, forced upon me courtesy of the pharmaceutical industry. I like my doctor; she's all about alternative medicine and tries everything natural before whipping out the prescription pad. She also has her office in a converted bungalow which she remodeled with her own two hands. And her gay brother is her receptionist, and the guy is a scream (and totally nonintentional - he just is funny).
But -- pap smears are just Not Fun. Especially when you bring your very active 6 year old with you, WITH the portable DVD player and a current favorite movie. Trouble is, the boy zips through the movie double quick by fast forwarding to his favorite parts. Then he starts exploring. There is a lovely wrap-around porch that he is told by the receptionist brother he may visit. So he strolls around and sings and talks to himself. Then, he notices the exam room windows. So, just in case his mother might be in there, he raps out Shave-and-a-haircut two-bits very nicely, on the window; you know, just friendly like and because he is connected to his mother by ESP and great love. So, in the middle of my pelvic exam, I say to dear Dr. Gloria, who has a young son of her own, "May we pause here, and may I go rap back?" So up I jump, nekkid derriere and all, and give the dum-diddly-ump bump, bump bump right back to him. He yelps "MOMMY!" and all is right with his world.
And I hop back on the table and we get on with the business at hand.
And wouldn't you know, my blood pressure was better than it's been in 15 years.

5 comments:

daysgoby said...

That is the BEST pap smear with kids story I've ever heard!

nutmeg said...

Hi Miscellania! I know, I know! I do visit! Like you I am trying to keep up the blog but am very haphazard at the moment. But I did get your email and I read it and loved hearing your news and had the very best of intentions of replying there and then only to be interrupted and it got later and I got more embarassed about not replying and on and on the spiral goes. But I'm here now....

Anyway, you've just reminded me that I am due for one of these and so it goes onto my very long list of things to do. I tend to still do these things sans kids; especially without the youngest who might still try to throw herself onto the busy road outside the doctor's office without appropriate supervision! ;-)

paula said...

heh-heh. :)

Caro said...

You are so funny.

I think I would like your doctor.

Suse said...

It must be the day for pap smears. My boss had one this morning (she announced to me as she arrived late at the office).

So I guess it's my turn. It's been years I'm ashamed to say.

But hey! You're alive and blogging again! Hooray!

ps. I posted the pics of sueeeus and I mostly for you, as you're one of the few bloggers who reads both of us, rather than one or the other. And I knew you (and Bec and Float) would be interested to see us together :)

(Well, I thought you'd be interested anyway). rambling now ...